Thrifting With Little Kids

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So. I looove thrift store shopping. I go once a week usually while The Viking Princess is at preschool so it’s just me and The Magical Wizard.  Just as the thrift store can be a mysterious and enchanted land of plenty it can also be a semi- creepy place full of peril and unholy filth. Yeah – you know what I mean, who buys used pantyhose and wigs for god sake ? So I have a little list of pointers for shopping at the thrift store with your little partner that can give you some peace of mind about the disgust factor and also on keeping them busy *cough* (bribery) *cough*.

1. Someone get me cart cozy, stat!
Having a cart cozy thing really helps me feel better about the whole thing in general. You know – one of those covers that goes over the shopping cart seat and handle. It gives The Wizard a sanitary area. God only knows what is on normal shopping carts, let alone skeevy thrift shopping carts. Have you seen some of the other shoppers?- yeah. It also helps catch any miscellaneous snacks/toys/general child detritus that might be dropped while shopping cause there’s only so much you can re sanitize a lollipop dropped in a giant dust bunny.

2. Prioritize prioritize prioritize
Lets be honest. No matter how many snacks you bring your kid has an expiration time in any store. The thrift I go to is HUGE. I get distracted pretty easily. I don’t need to look through the pantsuit section and you probably don’t either. Save yourself for really diggin into what you like them most – t shirts, boots, jeans, whatever.

3. I’m not above bribes – even at 9am.
The Wizard is pretty food oriented. He stays totally happy and busy if there are snacks involved. I start out healthy and then slide into a downwardish spiral. It’s like string cheese, banana chips, then goldfish crackers, aaaaand then m&ms. No shame – parenting is also pragmatics.

4. Let them learn the skillz
As the magical wizard is slowly getting over the whole thing we let him pick out a small toy or bag of toy cars from the kids section of the store. I know what you’re thinking… Omg she lets him touch those germy toys! Nooooooo. I always have those antibacterial wet ones in my bag. I wipe the shit out of whatever he picks. I’m talking detail work here like nooks and crannies and overall twice at least. This way he is part of the adventure and gets something to buy me another 10 minutes as we wrap up and pay. The wipes are good too in case they drop something else important on the questionable thrift store floor.

I don’t know, maybe this is no brainer stuff for other people, but once I finally came up with a system we were both much happier. It’s sort of like a weird bonding time for us now because its so regular every week.

Hopefully this helps some thrift mama out there who is wary of thrifting with the babe but really misses it like I did. rock on thrift mamas.

Ps. Always check out the kids costume section of the store or just the kids section for costumes especially this time of year. Even if your kids don’t use them for Halloween there’s great stuff for year round dress up for dirt cheap usually.

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I’m Just Analog Like That

First, let me recognize the irony and possibly even hippocrasy inherent in this post. Im gonna talk about the non use of technology while using said technology to deliver it and for all y’all to read it. So – ok, having said that…
Sometimes I think that the instant availability of information on my iPhone/pad really mostly leads to dissatisfaction and impatience. It is something in the immediacy of getting the exact piece of info you want or the instant acquisition of an object. Sometimes instead if actually thinking out a problem my first instinct is to google it. That is scary. Most people are idiots. Most of the people I know are idiots. Why in the world would I take their collective advice instead of using my own knowledge and experience? I’m not sure but at least I am able to refrain from the actual googling of things like “keeping toddler seated during dinner” or “why is my husband being an asshole” most of the time.
When I talk to people about this, about not automatically clicking into devices and remembering that the world and people around us are what is REAL, they usually say something like ” yeah I know what you mean” and then pull out their phone to answer a text or check email.
And I totally do it to. I’m not preachin’.
I’m just saying that my feeling of fulfillment with life is greater when I don’t endlessly compare things online, check email 12 times a day, and access an answer to every banal question my little head comes up with. My life is not better for instantly knowing who played the dad on Different Strokes. It just isn’t.
So my proposition for myself and anyone else who cares is to really use this stuff as tools and not fucking oracles. It’s hard. Harder than you think. It is part of everyones life. Its a huge cultural habit. But habits can be broken. It is “what people do” and takes a will to resist.i don’t want to be a sheep- staring at a little blue rectangle while the world passes by. I still look up Popsicle recipes for my kids and do this blog and buy stuff. I just try not to get sucked in, to go there first, to check out mentally and subscribe to whatever groupthink answer is on Wikipedia.
My brain feels better. My kids get more attention. We are more creative. Try it, you’ll like it. Lets get back to “be here, now.” Every moment is pregnant with possibility and beauty- if we aren’t too distracted to look for it.

In honor of breaking the shackles of mental conformity and taking a step back here are some great movies along those lines…

1. Cool Hand Luke.
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If you’ve never seen this – it is my #1 rockandroll attitude movie ever.
You gotta love smokin hot young Paul Newman with an attitude problem.

2. Harold and Maude
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I don’t know if this a cliche choice but its a great movie both for flipping social norms and fantastic 60s styling. Try to get over the creepy old person sex factor.

3. It Might Get Loud
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A documentary featuring three amazing guitar players- jimmy page, jack white, and the edge from U2. They all really developed their own true sound and style both in music and life.

4. American Movie
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I freaking love this movie! This guy has blazed his own trail, done things completely different than any other sane person and turned making horror movies into his own sort of zen.

Well there you have it, a weird post with some weird movies- enjoy!

A Hot Mess After my Own Heart

Here is a great article I ran across while looking for the exact wording of the Lester Bangs quote in my last post. The author took the words right outta my mouf. Bangs was perfect in his ability to just be authentic, something that is inexplicably harder than it seems.

href=”http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2012/08/how-lester-bangs-taught-me-to-read.html” title=”Great Lest Bangs Article” target=”_blank”>

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Parental Inspiration Photos

I don’t know about you but there are days where I feel like my kids have maybe finally broken me. Like I could not be more beat down than I am at that moment. This moment typically comes as a one year old is hanging on my leg crying while I am cooking and the three year old is writhing on the floor screaming for juice while a diaper containing something unholy languishes on the sofa cause I’ve been too busy for 2 1/2 hours to properly dispose of it. The thought about being broken follows the thought about the possibility of the dog eating the unholy diaper, which in fact sort of adds to it.
Anyway- I thought it might help to imagine what some of these parents might do in that situation- or how they would manage to avoid it. Really I just want to look as cool as they do while watching my dog eat that diaper. So-

COOL ROCK PARENTS:

I love you Robert Plant.

I love you Robert Plant.

I am not the hugest beatles fan but Paul McCartney and his bebe are damn cute.

I am not the hugest beatles fan but Paul McCartney and his bebe are damn cute.

Yeah you know it. Frank Zappa and the Moonunit.

Yeah you know it. Frank Zappa and the Moonunit.


Frank Zappa, just tell me things will get easier…